6.14.2009
Tennis Court Soundtrack.
TENNIS COURT SOUNDTRACK
Daphne Loves Derby
Where have you been?
I've been waiting so long to hear from you.
And all the things that we said we would do,
Remains to be plans of the past.
We've been, we've been too quiet for too long.
Where is, where is the hope we once had?
It's too late to be saved by your charm,
We'll never get this right.
Your words are cold, and the season is too,
The comfort in your voice is gone.
Don't keep in touch, I'm better off all alone.
You've lost everything that I've loved.
So is it worth this time?
Am I done in your mind?
Will I regret once you're gone?
Why did I ever think that we would, we would be good?
Well, alright, I'm sorry I even tried.
I was a fool to have hope in you, in you.
6.11.2009
Do not make "i'm only human, born to make mistakes" an excuse. You are a rational being, dammit.
Nobody wants to look stupid. Of course. I should know.
But why do most, if not all, choose to stay in stupidity despite the knowledge that they are making a fool out of themselves?
Probably, one of the hardest things to do as a human being is to admit that you are wrong. You would try every possible way to make opposite ends meet by proving not just to others but most importantly to yourself that your wrong could be right.
Nobody wants to be told that he is wrong. Even constructive criticisms could sound more of an insult than a compliment, no matter how the mistake is discreetly or subtly pointed out.
BUT WHY?
I would say it is the human's PRIDE. Remember, PRIDE is all you have when you have nothing left. There is something that you want to prove -- you want the whole world to know and see that you are capable of breaking the rules, that you have the power to make the wrong right. You want to take pride in your stubborness, of going against the flow, of bending a metal spoon with your stare -- of being a BAD ASS.
But who are you kidding?
Time will come that your sins will find you out. Each consequence would pile into heaps. There is no escaping. Just like telling lies, it becomes addicting. Each mistake is covered up with another.. And another.. And another.. Until there is no stopping. You are in a quicksand of errors, of wrong doings, of mistakes.
And you are left will 3 options: 1.) Err some more till everything flushes you out, 2.) Make your mistakes right. 3.) KILL YOURSELF.
But why do most, if not all, choose to stay in stupidity despite the knowledge that they are making a fool out of themselves?
Probably, one of the hardest things to do as a human being is to admit that you are wrong. You would try every possible way to make opposite ends meet by proving not just to others but most importantly to yourself that your wrong could be right.
Nobody wants to be told that he is wrong. Even constructive criticisms could sound more of an insult than a compliment, no matter how the mistake is discreetly or subtly pointed out.
BUT WHY?
I would say it is the human's PRIDE. Remember, PRIDE is all you have when you have nothing left. There is something that you want to prove -- you want the whole world to know and see that you are capable of breaking the rules, that you have the power to make the wrong right. You want to take pride in your stubborness, of going against the flow, of bending a metal spoon with your stare -- of being a BAD ASS.
But who are you kidding?
Time will come that your sins will find you out. Each consequence would pile into heaps. There is no escaping. Just like telling lies, it becomes addicting. Each mistake is covered up with another.. And another.. And another.. Until there is no stopping. You are in a quicksand of errors, of wrong doings, of mistakes.
And you are left will 3 options: 1.) Err some more till everything flushes you out, 2.) Make your mistakes right. 3.) KILL YOURSELF.
6.07.2009
DON'T.
Many people are afraid of growing old.
I'm afraid of growing old and boring.
Many people are afraid of growing old, alone.
I'm afraid of growing old, insane.
Many people are afraid of losing their looks.
I'm afraid of losing my dreams.
Many people are afraid of losing their youth.
I'm afraid of losing my soul.
When you're 15, 35 seems ancient.
When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile.
A turnaround in a split second -
two decades zoom past and before you know it,
it's only a mile to the next millenium.
Don't fear age - it's a right of personhood.
Don't fear death -- it's God's greatest jest.
Don't grow old - you don't have to.
Don't date because you're desperate.
Don't marry because you're miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't separate because you think it's fashionable.
Don't drink because you have troubles.
Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable.
Don't philander because you think you're irresistible.
Most likely, you're not.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat.
Don't lie.
Don't pretend.
Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God.
Don't dictate because you're smarter.
Don't demand because you're stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell your self, your family or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.
Don't regress.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Don't live in the past.
Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw you life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong
because your biological clock is ticking
and you can't afford to have your eggs harvested before the new millenium.
There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere
but victory does not always belong to those who finish first.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won
only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
You can't always go with the throng who could be wrong.
Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket.
In the long-run, it will be less complicated and less costly.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions
and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements --
abusive friends,
nasty habits
and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities
but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly
without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you're not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Fall in love -
it's the greatest thing on earth.
But take care and remember,
after the fall must come the rise.
Go on that trip.
Don't postpone it.
Say those words.
Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you must even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Hold hands.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except you.
It is true that life doesn't get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old.
Just grow up.
http://greycandy.multiply.com/journal/item/5
I'm afraid of growing old and boring.
Many people are afraid of growing old, alone.
I'm afraid of growing old, insane.
Many people are afraid of losing their looks.
I'm afraid of losing my dreams.
Many people are afraid of losing their youth.
I'm afraid of losing my soul.
When you're 15, 35 seems ancient.
When you're 35, 15 seems juvenile.
A turnaround in a split second -
two decades zoom past and before you know it,
it's only a mile to the next millenium.
Don't fear age - it's a right of personhood.
Don't fear death -- it's God's greatest jest.
Don't grow old - you don't have to.
Don't date because you're desperate.
Don't marry because you're miserable.
Don't have kids because you think your genes are superior.
Don't separate because you think it's fashionable.
Don't drink because you have troubles.
Don't gamble because you think winning is inevitable.
Don't philander because you think you're irresistible.
Most likely, you're not.
Don't associate with people you can't trust.
Don't cheat.
Don't lie.
Don't pretend.
Don't try to buy your way into the kingdom of God.
Don't dictate because you're smarter.
Don't demand because you're stronger.
Don't sleep around because you think you're old enough and know better.
Don't hurt your kids because loving them is harder.
Don't sell your self, your family or your ideals.
Don't stagnate.
Don't regress.
Learn a new skill.
Find a new friend.
Start a new career.
Don't live in the past.
Time can't bring anything or anyone back.
Don't put your life on hold for possibly Mr. Right.
Don't throw you life away on absolutely Mr. Wrong
because your biological clock is ticking
and you can't afford to have your eggs harvested before the new millenium.
There's always a mad rush to something, somewhere
but victory does not always belong to those who finish first.
Sometimes, there is no race to be won
only a price to be paid for some of life's more hasty decisions.
You can't always go with the throng who could be wrong.
Sometimes, you have to be alone to be enlightened.
To terminate your loneliness, reach out to the homeless.
To feed your nurturing instincts, care for the needy.
To fulfill your parenting fantasies, get a puppy.
Don't bring another life into this world for all the wrong reasons.
To keep yourself warm, buy a jacket.
In the long-run, it will be less complicated and less costly.
To make yourself happy, pursue your passions
and be the best of what you can be.
Simplify your life.
Take away the clutter.
Get rid of destructive elements --
abusive friends,
nasty habits
and dangerous liaisons.
Don't abandon your responsibilities
but don't overdose on duty.
Don't live life recklessly
without thought and feeling for your family.
Be true to yourself.
Don't commit when you're not ready.
Don't keep others waiting needlessly.
Fall in love -
it's the greatest thing on earth.
But take care and remember,
after the fall must come the rise.
Go on that trip.
Don't postpone it.
Say those words.
Don't let the moment pass.
Do what you must even at society's scorn.
Write poetry.
Love deeply.
Walk barefoot.
Hold hands.
Dance with wild abandon.
Cry at the movies.
Take care of yourself.
Don't wait for someone to take care of you.
You light up your life.
You drive yourself to your destination.
No one completes you - except you.
It is true that life doesn't get easier with age.
It only gets more challenging.
Don't be afraid.
Don't lose your capacity to love.
Pursue your passions.
Live your dreams.
Don't lose faith in God.
Don't grow old.
Just grow up.
http://greycandy.multiply.com/journal/item/5
5.10.2009
forgiveness letter.
9th of May.
Dear Pebbles,
I have been invited to come to Jesus' kingdom today and I responded.
Jesus invited me to come inside His house, and I followed.
We were walking on His garden and stopped at the front door of His mansion.
When He opened the door, He led me to His backyard where there was a gift for me, waiting to be opened.
Jesus said: "This is a gift from someone special. Try to open it."
I opened the package but had a difficult time. It's as if superglue was used to seal it.
I looked up to Him and asked, "I couldn't open it."
Then He said, "this person whom this present came from was very special to you. You have loved him, but he has hurt you so badly. In order for you to open this present, I want you to take a look back to the times that this person has hurt you, has caused you pain, as well as resentments."
I tried to imagine one face who has hurt me most recently. The face was yours. I scanned my brain, looking back to those times when we fought, when we misunderstood each other, when we fell apart. I cried.
Jesus put His hand on my shoulder and told me, "the gift shall be opened when you are able to forgive this person. when your heart is free from pain, hurt and resentment. When you feel lighter and accept the wrongs that he has done unto you."
For the past few months, I thought that I have already forgiven you. That I have already accepted what has happened between us.
But I was surprised to discover that those negative emotions were still there. I haven't let go completely. Instead, I have planted seeds of anger and plotted revenge against you. And I am so ashamed that Jesus knows all of this.
Jesus said, "you know why you couldn't have peace of mind? that's because you have planted negative things in your heart. And this has affected you greatly in your present life. You have become doubtful, you lost faith, you questioned My love for you, you have inhibitions towards other people."
Jesus knelt in front of me and looked me in my eyes, then spoke. "Child, let go of the things that's hindering you from loving Me and from coming back to Me. You will truly enter My kingdom once you have freed yourself from such things. And I promise you a better and happy life ahead if you leave your past behind and make room for forgiveness in your heart."
I dwelled on Jesus' words. "Love one another as I have loved you." While clinging on to that, slowly but surely, I tried to free my heart with the feelings of hurt, pain, anger, resentment and revenge. And after a while, I felt lighter.
Then I saw your face replace Jesus'. You smiled and said.. "I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me."
Tears flowed from my eyes. In happiness and relief, I replied.. "I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me.."
Again, I tried to open the present and found the happy memories that we had.
And I would hang on and treasure those. :)
Love,
Maane
Dear Pebbles,
I have been invited to come to Jesus' kingdom today and I responded.
Jesus invited me to come inside His house, and I followed.
We were walking on His garden and stopped at the front door of His mansion.
When He opened the door, He led me to His backyard where there was a gift for me, waiting to be opened.
Jesus said: "This is a gift from someone special. Try to open it."
I opened the package but had a difficult time. It's as if superglue was used to seal it.
I looked up to Him and asked, "I couldn't open it."
Then He said, "this person whom this present came from was very special to you. You have loved him, but he has hurt you so badly. In order for you to open this present, I want you to take a look back to the times that this person has hurt you, has caused you pain, as well as resentments."
I tried to imagine one face who has hurt me most recently. The face was yours. I scanned my brain, looking back to those times when we fought, when we misunderstood each other, when we fell apart. I cried.
Jesus put His hand on my shoulder and told me, "the gift shall be opened when you are able to forgive this person. when your heart is free from pain, hurt and resentment. When you feel lighter and accept the wrongs that he has done unto you."
For the past few months, I thought that I have already forgiven you. That I have already accepted what has happened between us.
But I was surprised to discover that those negative emotions were still there. I haven't let go completely. Instead, I have planted seeds of anger and plotted revenge against you. And I am so ashamed that Jesus knows all of this.
Jesus said, "you know why you couldn't have peace of mind? that's because you have planted negative things in your heart. And this has affected you greatly in your present life. You have become doubtful, you lost faith, you questioned My love for you, you have inhibitions towards other people."
Jesus knelt in front of me and looked me in my eyes, then spoke. "Child, let go of the things that's hindering you from loving Me and from coming back to Me. You will truly enter My kingdom once you have freed yourself from such things. And I promise you a better and happy life ahead if you leave your past behind and make room for forgiveness in your heart."
I dwelled on Jesus' words. "Love one another as I have loved you." While clinging on to that, slowly but surely, I tried to free my heart with the feelings of hurt, pain, anger, resentment and revenge. And after a while, I felt lighter.
Then I saw your face replace Jesus'. You smiled and said.. "I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me."
Tears flowed from my eyes. In happiness and relief, I replied.. "I love you, I forgive you, please forgive me.."
Again, I tried to open the present and found the happy memories that we had.
And I would hang on and treasure those. :)
Love,
Maane
4.16.2009
to the guitar hero.
Long ago and oh so far away..
Your guitar, it sounds so sweet and clear..
Its just the radio.
Loneliness is a such a sad affair..
And I can hardly wait to be with you again..
Come back to me again,
Don't you remember you told me you loved me baby?
Baby I love you,
- superstar, the carpenters.
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